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$10 MILLION OFFERED FOR BAND TO SPLIT UP

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$10 MILLION OFFERED FOR BAND TO SPLIT UP

Written by Marlon Dolcy

07 Thursday 07th October 2010

When a band continues past its sell by date it is not great for all concerned. A good way to solve this problem is to get the stale group to retire gracefully by offering them money. A group of music fans are doing precisely just that by offering Weezer $10 million so they can stop hearing a new “shitty new Weezer album every goddamn year".

The organizers still have a long way to go. At the time of writing they still have $9.99m left to reach their goal. As “shitty” music pollutes our ears on a regular basis there should not be much trouble getting enough money to pay the band off. Then who knows what is next. Could this be the beginning of a trend to eradicate the world of bad music so we can live in a sonic utopia?

Which band of musicians would you pay to stop making music forever? Getting them to sign a written contract to say that if they ever go near a microphone again, they are liable to face the death penalty sounds like a pretty neat idea.

So which bands would you pay to split up forever! We've compiled our list:

Top 5 bands we would pay to split up

N-Dubz

Call that Hip Hop and R ’n’ B? This useless band sound like a bargain basement group of Black Eye Peas.

Kasabian

The good thing about Oasis when they first came out was that they brought something new and fresh to music. Rename yourself the Bootleg Oasis, play at Butlins, but never release any records.

Black Eye Peas.

The music would be alright for children’s T.V. but would rather not hear it playing in the clubs.

Maroon 5

Pay good money to see this band marooned on a deserted island.

The Saturdays

Girl power has been set back ten years.

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Comments

Guest: Joe.Davin

Sat 29 - Jan - 2011, 16:42

I'd pay Marlon Dolcy good money to stop writing. His articles read as if they're written by an angst ridden 13 year old boy who's just discovered livejournal.
Guest: moorfather

Thu 21 - Oct - 2010, 18:10

Jimrosswwe define an "obvious band". Tameless comment you saddo. Alex you give me joke
Guest: alex

Tue 12 - Oct - 2010, 17:40

yeah i don't think the point was giving shit bands millions of pounds for being shit. i would rether give all of those listed bands four hours of anal rape with retraxctable batons, except the saturdays, in their case i'd use my penis. the prodigy need to stop making music, these guys were the face of the rave movement when it meant more fuck the tories than buying 'pills' off middle class white girls fearlessly trolling the dancefloor with hundreds of pounds worth of shiz in their handbags at a tenner for three whilst pedulum hammer the final nail into rave music decrepit corpse in a superclub that charges £30 to get in. i would add the libertines to that list but they stopped making 'music' years ago and you've got three hundred words of carl barat bumlicking on the next page. plus it pretty much happened at reading anyways. fuck forever.
Guest: johhn12

Sun 10 - Oct - 2010, 02:43

Oasis really didn't bring anything fresh to the table, slade riffs and beatles nostalgia with a bit of the pistols, kasabian are quite inovative and whether you like em or not they dont sound anything like oasis, who championed them, are you getting mixed up? lazy writing dude
Guest: jimrosswwe

Thu 07 - Oct - 2010, 18:16

What a pointless article - could you have picked 5 more obvious bands to (tamely) insult?

Magazine | Music | london

$10 MILLION OFFERED FOR BAND TO SPLIT UP

$10 MILLION OFFERED FOR BAND TO SPLIT UP

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