Here’s how it works: you carry on paying taxes, just as much if not more than before, but you also start doing some of the Government’s work. For free. It’s called active participation, and it’s a brilliant way of using the work ethic to keep the lower orders quiet. The general public gets to feel that they’re in control of things (saving schools from ruin, monitoring bent police forces and counseling junkies in rehab centers). And the people in charge can concentrate on the important things in life (shooting grouse, bidding at antique auctions and racing sports cars to Monte Carlo).

 

The candidates floated lots of ideas, designed to rescue our future, last week. Save £18bn and the nation’s privacy by binning ID Cards. Better still, save £100bn and the future of mankind by scrapping Trident nuclear missiles. But in the end, the Tories are relying on a ‘profound faith in our fellow human beings’ to save the day. Which translates, from Etonian to English as ‘you’ll do anything I ask if I make you feel important’.

 

It isn’t enough that we should work our selves to death, in tedious jobs for hardly any money, to pay for a live/ work shoebox and a week’s supply of Tesco Value baked beans. Now we must do our civic duty and run the government too. It’s like paying for a plumber to come round and fix your blocked toilet, but insisting he sits on your sofa with a cup of tea and a biscuit while you shove your hand down the bowl and go fishing for the turd yourself.

 

Tell you what Dave, I’ve got a leaky roof that needs fixing, and I’m behind on my accounts. Could you come over next Tuesday and do your civic duty on my behalf?

 

Neil Boorman is the author of the election manifesto It’s All Their Fault.