Before you toss those old cassette tape recordings of late-nineties top twenties, you should consider sending them to conceptual artist Alyce Santoro, who weaves tape into a textile that you can wear as a tie or a dress. You can make your own reader for the fabric by pulling apart a Walkman.

If a tie that plays garbled Catatonia hits isn’t for you, then why not plug yourself in to the zip jacket? It includes built-in retractable earbuds and a volume-controlling zipper (zip up and zone out!).

OK, so you like your own jacket and headphones. You can still wear your music if you pin on a playbutton, a badge MP3 player that comes loaded with a new album.

You really like the new album and you want to tell everyone about it. What to do? If you’re a girl and you’re wearing the M-dress – a mobile phone embedded in a dress – then touch yourself. The dress "accepts a standard SIM card and allows the wearer to receive and make calls without carrying a cellular phone in their pocket or purse". The idea being that most female fashion lacks pockets, and you don't always want to be tied to your handbag. Neat!

This is from the same company responsible for the hug shirt, for sending remote hugs - should you prefer to maul others from afar.

For those looking for something more discrete, Novero has produced Bluetooth headsets in the form of jewelry (see lead image). These get points for looking truly bizarre – wear it and get the visual interest of having your string of pearls disappear into your ear.   

Speaking of gadgets in your head, what are you going to do about a camera? Visual artist Wafaa Bilal had one installed in the back of head last December. Now he can capture every minute of his life for a year.

While the camera itself doesn’t count as being wearable, the lens cap does, and though grisly, it still looks cooler than Lady Gaga’s new Polaroid sunglasses.